Western Vitality

What is this modern world we live in where women are pushed to have babies, maintain a clean house, buy groceries, make meals, pursue a career, and, don’t forget, have hobbies on the side, all while taking care of everyone else’s needs before their own?

In my neck of the woods, it’s all of that, plus running a business alongside my husband, riding horses every day, and taking care of all the little nitty-gritty things that come with owning animals and caring for them.

Then, at the end of the day, we all wonder why our libido is nowhere to be found, our hormones feel all over the place, and we’re exhausted, stressed, and constantly living in survival mode.

Lately, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole of feminine energy.

It’s not your modern-day “I don’t need no man in my life” energy, and it’s also not “barefoot and pregnant in a dress in the kitchen” energy. Although, I will admit, sometimes that does sound slightly appealing.

I’m talking about the kind of energy that truly ignites your power as a woman.

The working woman.

I’ve read the books. They all seem to talk to the woman who is a stay-at-home mom or the single woman who works a 9-to-5. And while I do find helpful insight in them, they aren’t talking to the wife and mom who is in charge of not only her household, but all the moving parts of ranch life as well.

She makes sure the house is clean before her family even wakes up in the morning. She has dogs let out and animals fed before the sun even rises. She has lunches packed for her kids before they go off to school. She works out and takes care of her body. She has creative hobbies that she knows she needs to make time for. She has five horses to ride because the bills don’t pay themselves.

And you might ask…

Where is her husband in all of this?

Well, I can tell you.

He wakes up to the first noise of his day: the horses going nuts because one of them got out. So he flies out of bed, throws some clothes on, and runs outside to fix the problem.

He comes back inside, pours himself a bowl of cereal, only to be rushed back out the door with the kids and their lunch boxes to take them to school. While he’s in town, he has to stop at CAL Ranch to pick up grain.

He gets home, and he has horses to ride too. Except he’s a hardworking man who rides 12 to 15 horses a day, trying to take some of the workload off his wife.

By the time his foot hits the ground after getting off that very last horse, it’s well into the afternoon. He still has to care for the animals, finish fixing the fence from the catastrophe that morning, and somehow make it inside in time for dinner.

Everyone hears what a woman has to do every day, and the first question asked is, “Well, what does her man even do?”

Most men don’t get the credit they deserve.

But this post is for the women in the room.

What are we doing to protect our feminine energy in this busy, rugged, western lifestyle we live?

We try to create a schedule, only to throw the entire thing out the window because animals are completely unpredictable. So we’re left catering to the life that’s actually in front of us.

How are we finding time to slow down? How do we stop “mothering” our husbands? How do we let go of the need to control everything in our lives? How do we honor our bodies and finally start getting out of survival mode?

I’ve been researching this and have found a few things I’m trying to implement into my own life. I plan to make more posts about this as I learn, but for now, these are a few places I’m starting.

How to Protect Your Feminine Energy as a Working Woman

1. Do one thing for yourself every single day.

In all the books I’ve read, they talk about scheduling time for yourself every day and sticking to it the same way you would commit to showing up for work on time.

But the working western woman typically doesn’t work a regular job. Our lives run on animal time and kid time.

We try to implement the perfect, non-negotiable morning routine, but it inevitably gets interrupted.

So instead of overwhelming yourself with this idea of a “perfect morning routine,” try doing just one small thing for yourself every day.

Sit on the couch with a cup of tea or coffee. Do a five-minute meditation. Take a 10-minute walk. Heck, take 60 seconds of silence.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. You can make it happen.

2. You do NOT have to have everything “done” all the time.

It’s okay for the sink to be full of dishes for one night while you go to bed and get some much-needed rest.

It’s okay for things to be imperfect once in a while.

There will always be another load of laundry. There will always be something that needs cleaned, fed, fixed, organized, or put away.

Sometimes rest gets to be the thing you choose instead.

3. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.

Believe it or not, you do not have to do all the things you currently do.

Accept help from the people around you.

If the dirty house is overwhelming you, and you can afford it, pay someone to clean it. If deciding what to make for dinner every night is exhausting you, try meal planning or a meal delivery service. Use grocery pickup instead of spending an hour walking around the store.

Teach your kids and family members to help with tasks so you aren’t left doing everything alone.

Create systems that allow everyone to take care of their own stuff so you aren’t depleted at the end of every day because you’re still thinking about the giant pile of laundry sitting on the bed.

You do not have to personally carry every moving piece of your family’s life.

4. SLOW DOWN.

When our bodies are stuck in survival mode, we hurry everywhere.

You walk faster. Move faster. Cut vegetables faster. Clean faster. Shower faster. Everything is just… faster.

I want you to slow down.

Slow your pace. Move the knife a little slower while you cut your vegetables. Take a few moments in the shower to close your eyes and actually feel the water on your skin. Sit in your truck for an extra minute before getting out.

You don’t need to go on a 45-minute walk every morning and then sit looking out the window with a cup of hot coffee for another 20 minutes in order to slow your life down.

Although, that does sound pretty nice, doesn’t it?

Slowing down can happen in the life you’re already living.

5. Be high maintenance to be low maintenance.

I have an extremely hard time with this one.

Once a month, once a quarter, or whenever the timing feels right for you, do something that makes your life easier and reminds you that you’re still the sexy woman underneath the mud, horse hair, messy bun, and endless to-do list.

Go get a pedicure so that when you haven’t shaved your legs for a week, you can at least look down at your pretty toes.

Go get a massage so you have an hour completely to yourself.

Go get your hair done so your daily messy bun at least looks a little more put together.

The point is to be a little high maintenance so that you can be low maintenance.

Schedule those things for yourself well in advance, and DO NOT cancel on yourself unless someone is dying or the house is burning down.

I’m serious.

The world will not end while you take an hour to feel like yourself again.

At the end of the day, so much of the advice I’m finding is written for the woman who lives a typical life, works a typical job, and follows a somewhat predictable schedule.

There isn’t much out there for the ranch wives, farm wives, working horsewomen, or women whose lives can change completely because a horse got out, a dog got sick, a fence went down, or a kid suddenly needs them.

We can’t always create slower lives.

But maybe we can learn how to move through our busy lives differently.

That’s what I’m here to figure out: how we can embrace our femininity, take care of ourselves, love our families, work hard, and still feel like women instead of constantly operating in survival mode.

Stay tuned. There is so much more coming on this topic.