Western Vitality

Let me explain.

These days, it’s common to hear people say, “I probably shouldn’t do that if it compromises my mental health.” They’re often talking about some big project—something that could actually change their life if they saw it through. Or maybe they’re staring down an identity crisis, but instead of digging in to figure out who they really are, they back off, thinking it would be too much for their mental health to handle. And in doing that, they give in to the weaker part of themselves, which only fuels the identity crisis even more.

Let’s break it down.

Self-care is all about taking care of your mental and physical health. It’s the exercising, eating right, practicing mindfulness, meditating, and all that good stuff. But self-worth? That’s something different. Your self-worth comes from what you accomplish in life—the experiences you have, the challenges you face, the trials you overcome, the dreams you chase, and the things you conquer. The key here is to not let self-care become an excuse for avoiding hard things. These days, too many people think that if something is hard, it must be bad or wrong. But that’s simply not true.

Fixing yourself is hard. Fixing your mind is hard. Improving your life is hard. Marriage is hard. Family relationships are hard. Starting a business is hard. Heck, sometimes just going to church is hard. But doing those things and doing them well—that’s where the magic happens. Leaving your comfort zone isn’t the enemy of self-care; in fact, it’s often the key to growth. We need to learn the difference and stop letting discomfort hold us back from becoming who we’re meant to be.

Let Me Tell You a Story

There was a guy—we’ll call him Sam. Sam was one of those people who had big dreams as a kid. Everyone loved Sam. He grew up, married his high school sweetheart, and had a few kids. From the outside, it looked like Sam was living the life.

But over time, life’s challenges started to weigh on him. He fell into bad habits, hung out with people he shouldn’t have, and found himself saying and doing things he knew weren’t right. Instead of facing his issues and working through them, he convinced himself that his marriage was the root of his problems. He started blaming his wife for everything, and soon enough, they were divorced, leaving their kids in a broken home.

Sam wasn’t a bad guy, and he still isn’t. But he convinced himself that self-care meant removing himself from the marriage because he thought it was compromising his mental health. The truth was, his wife was loving and supportive, doing everything she could to help him. What Sam should have done was focus on his self-worth—he should’ve realized his issues, talked to his wife about them, and used that love and support to work on healing. Instead, he chose what he thought was self-care, and it ended up destroying his self-worth.

Because he prioritized his distorted view of self-care over his self-worth, Sam now lives a life filled with regret, though he’ll never admit it. He’s alone, without his family, and carrying a past he can’t fix.

But imagine if Sam had chosen self-worth instead. He would’ve acknowledged his problems, communicated with his wife, and worked hard to become his best self. His wife and kids could have been his motivation, his reason for pushing through the hard times. Through that difficult process of healing, Sam would have built unshakable confidence and become the strong, loving, patient man he always dreamed of being. He would’ve had a sense of purpose, and his self-worth would be rock solid.

The Bottom Line

Self-care is crucial, but don’t let it become the thing that holds you back from doing what’s hard when it’s the right thing to do. Self-care should strengthen your self-worth, not weaken it. Let it be the fuel that prepares your mind to tackle the tough stuff. Use self-care to lift you up, not tear you down.

Take care, my friend. We’ll chat soon.